July 2012
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To future son:
Michael: ...and remember, no matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight: What if he's a murderer?
Michael: You're not going to be a murderer.
Dwight: Maybe that's how you die.
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Grievances from Dwight's box of complaints:
Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert.
Everyone has called me Dwayne all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to.
This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder . I think he may be the real murderer.
Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women’s room; when I went to save the...
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working on making GIFs! :)
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“He’s always up in my bizness, which is ebonics for being in my face and...”
– Michael Scott
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“I Schrute-ed it…like when you screw something up in a really irreversible...”
– Andy
May 2012
32 posts
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“…and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of...”
– Michael Scott
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Dwight: THAT is not a statue, that is a robot.
Michael: I think that is a great way to honor Ed.
Dwight: And how big do you want this robot?
Michael: Life size.
Dwight: Mmm,no, better make it 2/3. Easier to stop if it turns on us.
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“Grief isn’t wrong. There is such thing as good grief.
Just ask Charlie...”
– Michael Scott
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“I’ve basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG.”
– Michael Scott
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Jan: Look, I’m already an hour outside of Scranton, Dwight. I’m not coming back.
Dwight:
Dwight: Pull over at exit 40. There is a liz claiborne outlet. I know you like that store. Go inside and shop until I can meet you.
Jan: ...how do you know I like that store?
Dwight: Many of your blouses are claibornes.
Jan: ...how do you know that?
Dwight: It’s part of my job.
Jan:
Jan: No, it’s not. It’s officially not.
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“Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the defects of their kind....”
– Dwight Schrute
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“In the Martin family we like to say,”looks like someone took the slow...”
– Angela Martin
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Follow WhatHappensattheOffice
so there’s always some The Office on your dashboard to make you smile!
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“I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in...”
– Dwight Schrute
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Jim: I’m just saying that you can’t be sure it wasn’t you.
Dwight: That’s ridiculous, of course it wasn’t me.
Jim: Marjuiana is a memory loss drug. So maybe you just don’t remember…
Dwight: I would remember…
Jim: Well how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight: That’s not how it works.
Jim: Now how do you know that’s how it works?
Dwight:
Dwight: Knock it off, okay,...
The Office:Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don't wanna see you sniffing around her any more this afternoon,
Stanley: Do you understand?
Ryan: yes Stanley...
Stanley: Boy have you lost your mind?...
Ryan: N-no...
Stanley: ...cause i'll help you find it!
Stanley: Whatchu lookin for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there.
Stanley: Jesus can come through that door and he's not gonna help you if you don't stop sniffin' after my child!
Ryan: o-okay...
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“Being a nark is one of the hardest jobs that you can have. And I am very proud...”
– Dwight Schrute 